Messy With Purpose

Sometimes being able to overlook a mess is a good thing.

Sometimes a mess simply means you’re working really hard on something, and you’ll come back to it later.

So you push the mess over to the side, find a clear space, and get to work.

Friends, I want to tell you that I’ve been working on an eBook. After hearing so many women ask the question, “I love blogging, but how do I manage the time that it takes?” I thought about how I asked the same question when I first started, and what I’ve learned since then. It’s a topic I’m very passionate about, and writing this book has been terrifying, in the best way. More details to come.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting and You Still Live in an Apartment

One day my kids will be too big to carry around in tote bags.

“What’s it like living in an apartment with a baby?” is a question I am often asked. Usually it’s from someone expecting her first baby and trying to decide where to live.

If there is one thing I’ve learned from all these years of apartment living, it’s that I don’t need a house to have a home.

And that’s the truth. There is something really special about having a story that begins, “When we first started out, we lived in a small apartment…”

But that’s not all there is to it of course. When all our friends were buying houses, we chose to stay in an apartment, and here is how our experience has been so far.

We lived in a one bedroom apartment when we found out we were expecting Lane. After the shock wore off, one of my first thoughts was for the nursery. I wanted a room that was beautiful just like in the pictures I saw.

We had a small side room with a slouchy couch and a television set. We sold the couch (and later the television), and turned that little space into a baby room with a crib and a changing area. We turned a wet bar cabinet into an organized baby closet. With just a few changes our one-bedroom apartment had a nursery.

I wished I could paint, but I learned to live with apartment beige. (Apartment beige is like builder’s beige, but with 20 layers and extra overspray.)

We had no option but to live with less stuff than catalogs say you need. We chose “travel size” for a lot of things. We didn’t need a baby bathtub when we could give our kid a bath in the kitchen sink. Craigslist was our storage unit. Knowing we couldn’t keep baby gear long-term, I bought and sold stuff as we needed it, and sometimes I even sold things for more than I paid.

We didn’t buy many toys, but our baby didn’t mind playing with apples, pears, and sheets of paper, the occasional cardboard box, or stuff from my closet. We often reminded people, “We don’t have much space in our apartment,” and they helped us by considering that. Most toys came from grandparents, and some toys stayed at the grandparents’ house.

Our big challenge was storage: not baby storage, just regular stuff. We didn’t have a kitchen pantry, so our crackers and dry goods were in the bathroom under the towels. With everything stuffed into every possible storage space in whatever way it could fit, we often left it exposed for baby exploring. It was so easy for her to pull out everything that was accessible, and I spent a lot of time putting stuff back.

Having a patio outside space saved my sanity more than once. We frequently went places, visiting parks and coffee shops. Every weekend we were glad not to have to keep up with a lawn.

Baby #2 was coming, and I briefly thought about staying. Our rent was cheap, but our apartment was lacking. We decided to pay more, and we moved to an apartment that was bigger and better with a park close by. I’m glad we decided to pay the extra money because with two kids I stay home more, and it’s nicer. I think the lack of windows in our old apartment was making me depressed.

The kids share a room, and a while ago I shared a tour of how we made a place for both of them. It has its challenges (one kid is a light sleeper).

Sometimes I wish I could decorate any way I want. Sometimes I wish we didn’t have carpet. Wow, I’m just thinking of all the reasons why I wish we didn’t have carpet.

We use cloth diapers, but we have our own washer and dryer. I don’t think I would use cloth if I had to go to a laundromat, though I know more persistent people who have done it.

We invite small friends to play and it makes it really noisy for our downstairs neighbor.

I like being able to always know where my kids are. I like always being within earshot of them.

Sometimes we drive by our old apartment which is just five minutes away, and my four year old always says, “I don’t like our new home, Mommy, I like our old home better. I like my old room better. It’s little. Little kids need little rooms.” So there you have it.

I don’t know how long we’ll stay in an apartment, but it’s definitely helped make our lives better. It’s been good, and it’s been worth it.

Two Words for Simple Home Decor: Functional or Personal

Organizing coach Michelle Traudt has a strategy to simplify her home decor:

Every decoration should be functional or personal.

Functional items are useful things likes books, mirrors, and clocks.

Personal items are photos and artwork that she or her husband made (though I consider more things personal, such as favorite things from my childhood and handmade items.)

She said taking this approach has helped her to buy fewer things and avoid knick-knacks that do not mean anything to her.

I look around my home and see that my favorite things on display could be described  by those two words.

The clock that I’ve had since I learned to tell time.

The shelf by the front door that my great-grandfather made that holds my keys.

The ceramic bowls I made in college.

And if those things on display can be both functional and personal? That’s the sweet spot.

See more about how Michelle does this in her home at Creating Peace.

Never Clean a Sippy Cup Again

Tom, 9 months

Did you know sippy cups are optional?

One of the easiest ways to clean a sippy cup is to use the dishwasher, but easier than that is not using one.

Our kids learned to drink from small glasses. (Actually, they’re shot glasses. They are just the right size.) We start by giving them a little water. If it all dribbles down their chin, it’s no worry. It doesn’t take long for babies to figure out how a cup works.

I like that I never discover a three-day-old sippy cup on the floor of the car with milk gunking up the straw.

If you’re worried about glass over a tile or concrete floor, you can use a plastic medicine cup instead.

And our broken glass count? Kids: 1 Me: 100.

Lane, 14 months

One thing that helps us is our household rule to keep food and drinks at the table. The kids don’t wander around our home carrying their drinks.

It’s easier to go places when my kids can drink from a regular cup or water bottle. (There is a small amount of confusion at friends’ houses or the church nursery. All the kids are given sippy cups and my kid didn’t know how to use them.)