Simplifying

Photo by eyeliam

How do you capture those special holiday memories?

I try to take a lot of pictures, but I also keep a notebook just for Christmas.

This isn’t one I use for planning or lists, it’s an album the family can look through.

I try to keep it easy and simple, or else I wouldn’t do it.

Each year I add one or two pages. I choose four to six photos, and I spend a few minutes writing about our favorite memories from that year’s Christmas.

What might be included?

• Where we lived and worked.
• Fun events and parties.
• Recipes to make again.
• Special gifts given.
• Favorite traditions started and kept.
• Christmas trees and decorations.
• Funny things said.
• Who was there.
• Places traveled.
• Blessings counted.

I hope I get to look through it in fifty years and see how our family has grown and celebrated one of our favorite times of the year.

Photo by sburke2478

Want to see fewer ads this Christmas? Watch a little less TV.

If you’ve ever thought about going without TV, now really is the ideal time to try it!

We’ve been without it for almost three years, and I appreciate that the most during the holidays. (Maybe during the election, too.)

We don’t have to watch after-Thanksgiving ads, we don’t hear false promises of what will make our loved ones happy, and we don’t have the noise. It’s worth it.

Going without TV doesn’t have to be all or nothing. We do have the television set and DVD player, so we can watch movies when we want to. I can watch something online if I want to. I have more control over what Lane sees.

Now when we watch something, we have to be intentional about it. We can’t just turn on the TV.

Another tactic is to leave the TV unplugged. When you’re reaching back there to plug in the TV, it gives you a few more seconds to think about if that’s what you really want to be doing.

We all have such an input-overload right now. Take back a little peace and quiet.

Photo by *clairity*

My decision to not get organized for Christmas has been good so far. This is the first year in a really long time that my holiday success doesn’t feel measured by how many things I crossed off my to do list. When someone asks me if I’m ready for Christmas, it no longer has to mean “have I finished my shopping?”

Which incidentally, I haven’t yet, but I’m not worried.

My sleep schedule is messed up. Ten o’clock at night seems like the perfect time to repair the tile grout, at midnight I’m thinking about making soap, but at nine in the morning I can’t even concentrate to return an email. 

I realized today that since a cold front blew in and it gets dark so early, I haven’t seen the sun shine in a while. No wonder everything seems off. I’ll have to get outside this weekend. I hope it stays warm enough, I hate the cold.

I thought about posting some links for today, but I would rather just be quiet and put my computer away for now.

Thanks for reading.

Photo by RedWillow / Lisa

While I listened to the song “Away in a Manger”, it occurred to me that even though the song is lovely, the setting was probably not what Mary had in mind.

I’m sure she would have preferred to stay home, instead of traveling by donkey at nine months pregnant.

She would have wanted to be in her own room, instead of going from house to house and finding no place.

She would have rather not had barn animals for company.

Not ideal.

If your Christmas has no chance of becoming what you wanted, if you’re concerned about money, if you’re afraid your family will be disappointed… 

If this year won’t be the same as last year, or you’re carrying the burden for other people’s holiday happiness…

The ideas we have of the perfect Christmas, favorite foods, the perfect gift, and a full stocking didn’t come from that first Christmas. But somehow, it was those unwanted circumstances that made the hope and beauty of the miracle even more evident.

Photo by chatirygirl

A simple Christmas means not focusing so much on gifts, that’s certainly true. But considering the time, expense, thought, and effort involved, it’s only natural to hope the gifts we do give and receive will be good ones.

I asked a panel of wise women for their advice in gift-giving, and they shared much of their experience, especially about simplifying how we give gifts to children.

Scale Back on Unneeded Toys

Alana had previously commented, “Over the past few years we’ve scaled back a little…  The problem we have is convincing other family members to take it easy with gifts for the kids.” Alana suggests asking grandparents for “experience gifts” instead of things.

Knowing how some people get started with shopping early, it might be too late for this year, but early next year you can talk more with grandparents about your plans for fewer gifts. Be honest, be positive, and share about the imaginative ways your kids really like to play.

Prior to Christmas time is a great time to clean out the toy box, give it away to others, sell it at a yard sale, take it to a homeless shelter or to a battered womens shelter.  Instill the sense of giving to your child as they see you model this in your life.

Talk About It

If extended family members don’t seem to want to cut back on gifts, then you can still make suggestions. Grandparents who live far away might not know what would either be age-appropriate for the child or what the child would enjoy, and your suggestions could help.

Have a list of gift ideas ready for those who ask: you can include the product name, price, and a store which carries it. You can even keep an ongoing wish list online.

I asked some of our family if they wanted to draw names for gifts, and they were glad to do that.

It’s Not About the Gifts

To take the emphasis away from gifts, don’t pile them under the tree right away. Wait until Christmas Eve to bring them out, so family members aren’t constantly being reminded of them.

Check your own shopping impulses.  We know our families will want to buy presents for Lane, so we keep that in mind as we shop for her.  We typically buy three presents for Lane (that’s as many as her attention span can handle, in any case).

No matter what the gift is, use this opportunity to teach your child to receive it in a respectful manner. You can always re-gift it later.

Let the Gift Be Secondary to the Experience

For small children, the surprise in opening a gift is better than the gift itself.  I can see this so clearly in an old family photo.

On Christmas morning in 1981, I had a look of pure glee on my face after discovering a brown banana in my stocking. The stockings filled with fruit and little toys would have been enough, without the other gifts.

I see how Lane gets excited about gifts, even when they’re not for her. She mainly likes opening them, but even that won’t hold her attention all morning.

Promote Easy Gift Policies

Enclosing the gift receipt saves your loved ones from the embarrassment of asking for it, and lets them know you won’t be offended if they want to return the gift.

Along with providing the receipt, pay for gifts with cash instead of using your credit card. This makes it easier for someone to receive a cash refund instead of store credit for the gift. (Most companies won’t give a cash refund on a credit card purchase.)

When giving a gift card, check to make sure a store is located within a reasonable distance from the recipient’s home.

If the grandparents give your child something that doesn’t interest them, return it and purchase something that you can say is from them.

Above all, don’t compare the price of a gift to a measure for love. I know that goes without saying, but it still seems like people feel that way sometimes. Don’t try to top last year’s gift each year, and don’t believe for a minute that there is one perfect gift that can be found in a department store.